i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
