i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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