Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
