Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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