loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
