about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
