How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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