It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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