i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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