Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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