he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
