i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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