i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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