Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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