Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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