Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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