They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Less talking, more tequila
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
