I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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