Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
