If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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