Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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