if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
jump out the window naked night went bad
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
