While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
