Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
