he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sext me about skeletons
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
