Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
