I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize