I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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