did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
