OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
