Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish i was in the wii world.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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