I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
