I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
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