What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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