this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
