Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
