I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
