You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
