i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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