3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
