Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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