Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
