I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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