i just google imaged poop.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
