So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
