There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
