none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
