I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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