theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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