If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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