Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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