I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize