you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
